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Disclaimer: this website is composed of symbols and images that do not in themselves carry meaning outside of a total social situation which none of us choose.


Hi, I'm Drew Pendergrass. My fair trade, artisanally-crafted, low-sodium website is lovingly built from whatever I decide to post online. It hosts a variety of projects, resources, and ephemera made over the years, including experimental music, my writing, a video game, a fake startup that sells logs on wheels, a stupid Chrome extension, and esoteric sorting algorithms, as well as my research papers and conference presentations in atmospheric science and related fields.

Currently, I am a doctoral student in Environmental Engineering at Harvard University, studying under Daniel Jacob. I am on staff for Harvard Magazine, and I freelance on the side for publications including Harper's and Current Affairs (send me stories at drew@drewpendergrass.com). Formerly, I wrote for the Harvard Political Review and the weekly magazine of The Harvard Crimson. More importantly, I am not a substitute for a medical doctor, I have nothing to do with explosions, and I appreciate knowledge of the outcome of a given situation.


Spotlight

An essay I wrote for the January-February 2020 issue of Harvard Magazine on beauty, mathematics, and environmental science: "Working at Beauty."

A Brief Q&A

Q. How can I contact you?

A. You can follow/DM me on Instagram or Twitter, but it's best to email me at drew@drewpendergrass.com. However, if your email is unpleasant, you should direct it to grievances@drewpendergrass.com, an inbox I definitely read.

Q. Who are you?

A. Well, to start off, I am not a closed, non-orientable, boundary-free manifold, I keep the old gods, I am capable of reading English, I am reluctant to resort to black magic, and I am not reptilian. If you for some strange reason would like to know something substantial about me, you can check out my projects page or my CV.

Q. Why does this page keep changing?

A. This page is randomly generated by the server on each load. Most of the page's contents are not displayed on one particular load, so for the full experience reload a bunch of times.

Q. Why don't you just host this crap on Github like a normal person?

A. Github only allows static websites. I wanted my website to be different for every visitor. DrewPendergrass.com, like life itself, must always be in flux. You could say I'm an artist.

This website proudly supports Otto Neurath and the ISOTYPE picture language

Neurath

Please represent all social facts pictorially in your correspondence with the owner and proprietor of this website. Do your part to help build a pluralistic and anti-metaphysical theory of knowledge.

Some true statements

I have no trouble distinguishing my right from my left ... I accept the axiom of choice ... I proudly possess object permanence ... I have never traveled to an exoplanet ... I have never commanded an army composed of more than 100,000 soldiers ... I have absolutely no intention of running for Senate in the great state of Minnesota ... I keep all my eggs in separate baskets ... I am not to my knowledge a victim of a mummy's curse ... I did not orchestrate the Camp David Accords ... I have never advocated on behalf of, or against, the Free Silver movement ... I take my eggs over easy ... my mind's eye exists only in a figurative sense ... you cannot prove I have sympathies for the former state of Burgundy ... I hold no world records ... to my knowledge, there is no portrait of me that ages in my place ...

A Moving, and Random, Quotation

Maybe it is the nothingness that is real and our entire dream is nonexistent, but in that case we feel that these phrases of music, and these notions that exist in relation to our dream, must also be nothing. We will perish, but we have for hostages these divine captives who will follow us and share our fate. And death in their company is less bitter, less inglorious, and perhaps less probable.

-Marcel Proust, from Swann's Way


Read more here.

Play Alchemy!

"So fun you won't even need friends!"


Box Cover

Bonus Content Zone!

Three Cryptic Messages Regarding Matters of Supreme Importance

  1. It is necessary for you to embrace your enemies before they belittle your nations.
  2. The regulations have been watched. It is time to redact the slogans.
  3. All safeguards will be trivialized.

One randomly-generated sorting algorithm, please!

Do you have an unsorted list of N natural numbers? Do you just hate it when programs are guaranteed to terminate? Do you get angry when algorithms do better than factorial time? Then you're in luck! The following algorithm has been generated just for you:

  1. Feed your list into a black hole, permanently destroying the information. The list is as good as sorted now! If people shake their heads and insist you actually sort the list, just generate a new one and proceed to the next step.
  2. Uh oh! You've triggered a penalty step. Before you proceed, you must perform a task. Andrew Wiles's proof of Fermat's Last Theorem is 109 pages long. Assuming each page contains roughly 2000 characters, the text can be encoded in order 1,000,000 bits. Generate this number of bits and check to see if they prove Fermat's Last Theorem. If they do not, repeat this step. If they do, proceed! You've paid the penalty. (This step was defined in collaboration with Mirac Suzgun).
  3. Produce N blockbuster action films, each with an advertising budget proportional to a number in the list. For consistency, ensure each film is released in the same theaters at the same time of year. (Practically, this means the list cannot exceed a dozen or so items. If N>12, simply delete all but twelve items from the list). Read off the box office earnings for each film in order, printing the number corresponding to each.

Congratulations! Your list is now sorted. You can find a permalink to this particular algorithm here.

Computer!

Facts about corn or facts about Korn?

Click the line you think is about corn!

Example 1

Example 2

Example 3

Score: 0 • Streak: 0

All facts lovingly taken from Wikipedia.

You should google Graham Starr